ARE YOU A

Narcissist! Or Not?

Tools For Helping Men

Transform Hurtful Accusations

Into Lasting Love & Trust

“Why does she always make me feel like I’m doing something wrong when I’m just trying to be kind?”

Meet Greg … The “Virtuous Hero”

Greg adjusted his tie in the mirror, pausing to admire how sharp he looked. Tonight’s fundraiser was one of his big events—an opportunity to show the community what he was all about. A leader, a giver, someone who truly cared.

He turned toward the bedroom, where his wife, Megan, was putting on earrings. She looked beautiful, but she didn’t seem excited about the evening ahead.

“You know,” Greg said, “it’s amazing how much time I’ve put into organizing this. Just last week, I stayed late after work three nights in a row to make sure the logistics were perfect. People don’t realize how much effort this kind of thing takes.”

Megan gave a small smile. “I’m sure it’ll be great, Greg. You always do a good job with these things.”

Her response felt flat, dismissive even. Greg frowned. “You don’t sound very enthusiastic. This is a big deal, Megan. We’re raising money for something important. A lot of people are counting on me to pull this off.”

“I know, Greg,” Megan said, adjusting her dress. “I just… sometimes it feels like these events are more about you than the cause.”

Greg felt a spark of indignation. “That’s not fair. I do this because I care about people. This isn’t about me.”

Megan sighed. “It’s just that you put so much energy into these events, but when it comes to us, it’s like I’m an afterthought.”

Greg’s jaw tightened. “That’s not true. I do plenty for you and the kids. Who takes care of all the little things around here? Who makes sure the bills get paid, the cars get serviced, the house stays running? I don’t see you complaining when I’m taking care of all that.”

Megan turned to face him, her expression tired. “Greg, I’m not saying you don’t do anything. I’m saying you always expect me to give you credit for it, like I need to applaud you for being a decent husband and father. Do you ever just do things without expecting me to notice?”

Greg opened his mouth to argue but stopped. A knot of resentment twisted in his chest. Why couldn’t she see how much he did for her? For everyone?

The evening went as Greg expected. The fundraiser was a success. He shook hands, gave a heartfelt speech, and received plenty of pats on the back for his hard work. By the end of the night, he should have felt fulfilled, but as they drove home, Megan’s silence lingered like a shadow over his achievements.

“Didn’t you think tonight was great?” he asked, breaking the quiet.

“It was fine,” Megan replied, staring out the window.

“Just fine?” Greg snapped. “Do you have any idea how much effort I put into that event? I didn’t do it for myself—I did it for something bigger, for people who need help.”

Megan turned to him, her voice calm but firm. “Greg, I don’t doubt that. But can I be honest? It feels like you do all these things because you want people to admire you, not because you genuinely care. And that’s exhausting to live with.”

Greg gripped the steering wheel tighter. “That’s not true,” he said, but the words rang hollow, even to himself.

Why Does Your Wife Think You’re a Communal Narcissist?

Is your wife or partner accusing you of being a communal narcissist? You might feel like you’re the moral compass of the relationship—the one who holds everything together through kindness, selflessness, and generosity. But she may interpret your actions as insincere, self-serving, or even manipulative. Communal narcissism isn’t about overt selfishness; it’s about using good deeds and selflessness as a way to seek admiration and validation.

You likely see yourself as the “good guy,” always making sacrifices for others and expecting to be appreciated for it. When that recognition doesn’t come, it can quickly lead to frustration and resentment. Instead of feeling like a valued partner, you may feel underappreciated or taken for granted. From her perspective, however, your acts of kindness may seem transactional, where every good deed comes with an unspoken expectation for praise. Over time, this dynamic puts pressure on her to constantly acknowledge your efforts, leaving her feeling overwhelmed and disconnected.

Here’s the truth: being a “good guy” shouldn’t come with strings attached. When the motivation behind your generosity is rooted in a need for validation, it undermines the very connection you’re trying to build. What you might see as acts of selflessness can actually feel like emotional bargaining, where the real goal is admiration, not connection.

So how do you break this cycle? The first step is recognizing that true generosity doesn’t require recognition. By letting go of the need for constant validation and focusing on giving freely, without expecting something in return, you can begin to create a more authentic, balanced relationship.

In the Narcissist, or Not? course, we’ll guide you through understanding the underlying insecurity driving these behaviors and provide you with practical strategies to stop seeking validation through your good deeds. You’ll learn how to be truly generous without needing external approval and how to foster deeper, more genuine connections in your relationship.

Ready to let go of the need for constant praise?

Take our assessment to find out if your behaviors align with communal narcissism. Learn how to rebuild authenticity in your relationship and break the cycle of needing validation for your kindness.

Next Steps:

• Buy the Book – Explore the root causes of communal insecurity and learn how to practice true generosity.
• Get the Workbook – Practical exercises to help you stop seeking validation and start building deeper, more genuine connections.
• Take the Course – Work with Sven and Steve to move beyond communal insecurity and create a more authentic, fulfilling relationship.

Does Your Behavior Make You Look Like a Communal Narcissist?

Is your wife or partner accusing you of being a communal narcissist? Men who display communal narcissism often come across as self-righteous or seeking constant validation for their generosity. You might feel like you’re doing your best to hold the relationship together through kindness, but she may see your actions as insincere or transactional. Take this assessment to find out how much your behaviors resemble communal narcissism and learn what steps you can take to build a more genuine and balanced connection.

Take Our “Why Does My Wife Think I’m a Narcissist?” Test

Learn how your behaviors may look like communal narcissism to your wife or partner.

Would you prefer to take our FREE, all-inclusive Test? Click Here

See how your behaviors may appear similar to eight forms of narcissism (including comunal) in this 90-question, comprehensive test.

Disclaimer:

We want to remind you that we are not mental health professionals; this is not a diagnosis, and the information below is not offered as medical or mental health guidance. The insights and assessments are intended to help you understand why your partner may be seeing some of your behaviors as narcissistic and identifying or accusing you of being a narcissist. These assessments are for personal reflection and growth—not for clinical evaluation.

Here’s What You Might Be Feeling, Saying, and Doing:

Feelings of a Communally Insecure Man:

• Morally superior, feeling like the hero in the relationship
• Frustrated when your generosity goes unnoticed
• Underappreciated for your efforts and sacrifices

What You Might Be Saying:

• “I’m the one holding this relationship together.”
• “Why don’t you ever appreciate what I do for others?”
• “If it weren’t for me, this family would fall apart.”
• “I do so much for you, but you never notice!”

What You Might Be Doing:

• Frequently highlighting your good deeds
• Guilt-tripping your partner if she doesn’t acknowledge your efforts
• Taking the morally superior high ground in disagreements

How Your Partner Might Be Feeling, Saying, and Responding:

Feelings of a Woman in a Relationship with a Communally Insecure Man:

• Annoyed by your need for validation
• Pressured to constantly praise your actions
• Resentful of your self-righteousness

What She Might Be Saying:

• “Why does everything have to be about you?”
• “You’re always playing the hero.”
• “You’re not the only one who does things around here.”

What She Might Be Doing:

• Withholding praise or validation
• Resenting your constant need for acknowledgment
• Emotionally distancing herself from the relationship

Recognizing that communal behaviors are driven by a need for validation is the first step toward fostering genuine generosity in your relationship. By focusing on giving without expectations, you can create a deeper, more balanced connection based on mutual respect and understanding.

Ready to Take the Next Step Toward Transformation?

Whether you’re looking to dive deeper, get hands-on tools, or begin a guided journey, we’ve got you covered. Explore our book, workbook, and course to start changing the way you show up in your relationship and break free from the cycle of grandiose insecurity.