Who Are You?

Men and women both experience deep emotional pain, but they do so in unique ways. For men, the root of this pain often stems from a relentless sense of insecurity. Many men, like Brian, pursue accomplishments, achievements, and external validation as a way to resolve their inner struggles—but often find themselves stuck despite their best efforts.

Meet Brian…

Brian has been married to Ginny for 18 years, and together they have three children, ranging in age from three to ten. By all outward appearances, Brian has done well for himself. He runs his own HVAC company, his employees respect him, and he’s a leader in his church. Brian is also a dedicated father, and his kids know how much he loves them. He takes pride in providing for his family—Ginny has been able to stay home with the kids since day one, and their home is nearly paid off.

Yet despite all this, Brian feels unfulfilled.

Life has become routine, and Brian is deeply frustrated by a growing emotional disconnection with Ginny. His sex life is stagnant, and he feels Ginny isn’t interested in him anymore. She’s always busy, and when she finally slows down, she’s on her phone or falling asleep. This lack of connection is leaving Brian feeling resentful, frustrated, and even angry.

He’s worked hard to provide a good life, but something is missing, and no matter how much harder he works, nothing seems to change.

The Growing Disconnection

Brian often tries to talk to Ginny about his feelings, but every conversation turns into an argument. She accuses him of having flaws he doesn’t believe he has. The tension leads to silence, more disconnection, and certainly no intimacy.

This pattern has left Brian feeling stuck. He’s tired of feeling like he’s in the doghouse for simply trying to communicate his needs. He knows Ginny’s upbringing plays a role, and he resents her family for the emotional baggage that seems to have carried over into their relationship. Deep down, Brian feels like he’s paying for her past, and he’s exhausted by it.

Feeling Trapped in His Own Life

Brian finds himself wishing for a way out. At times, he even imagines drastic scenarios like Ginny getting in a car wreck, just so he could move on guilt-free. Yet he feels trapped by his values—divorce goes against everything he believes in, and he couldn’t bear to hurt his kids by breaking up the family.

“I will live a miserable existence before I get a divorce,” Brian tells himself, and this belief keeps him stuck in an unhappy, unfulfilled cycle.

The Endless Cycle

Brian wakes up, goes to work, earns more money, takes vacations, and even agrees to try for another baby, all hoping something will change. But deep down, he knows the truth—no matter how much harder he tries, nothing will fix the emptiness he feels.

Like many men, Brian is looking for deeper fulfillment, a sense of purpose, and a way to reclaim the happiness he’s lost. He’s done everything he thought was “right,” but none of it has led to the life he imagined.

If you can relate to Brian’s story, know that you’re not alone. Many men feel this way, and there is a way out of the emotional pain and stagnation. The key isn’t in working harder or achieving more—it’s in discovering who you truly are, beyond your accomplishments, and stepping into the life you were meant to live.

Feel Like Brian?

Consider Requesting a FREE discovery session to explore these feelings further.

In a nutshell… sometimes!

While I primarily work with men, there are times when I can help women on their own journeys of growth and transformation. As a man who has been married for more than half my life, much of my personal development has happened within the context of marriage. This has given me valuable insights into the heart and mind of married women—especially when it comes to navigating the emotional pain and disconnect that can arise in long-term relationships.

I’ve lived as the clueless husband who unknowingly triggered his wife in all the wrong ways, causing her pain in the process. Through my own journey of growth, I’ve gained a renewed understanding and empathy for the struggles women face, particularly those married to men like I once was.

While I focus on mentoring men, I can still provide support, encouragement, and perspective to women who are looking for guidance. If you’re curious about working with me, I encourage you to set up a free session to see how it feels. We’ll explore if my approach resonates with you and your unique challenges.

Men and Women Experience Pain Differently

Though men and women experience emotional pain in similar ways, the root of their pain often differs. For men, insecurity can drive their pursuit of success and achievement. For women, it’s often an insidious sense of inadequacy that pushes them to try harder, to be more, to do more—never quite feeling like they’re enough.

Meet “Ginny” – A Typical Woman I Can Help

Ginny has been married to Brian for 18 years. They have three children and live in a nice part of town, leading a life that looks picture-perfect from the outside. Most people think they have it all together, but Ginny feels differently inside.

While she and Brian are active in their church and have a few close friends, Ginny hides a deep truth—most days, she hates her life. She’s tired of pretending everything is fine, and despite her efforts to keep things together, she feels like she’s not enough.

Her marriage with Brian, which once brought her joy, now feels empty and lifeless. Every interaction with him seems to trigger that nagging feeling of inadequacy. When she tries to talk about her feelings, Brian makes it about himself, leaving her even more frustrated.

To outsiders, Brian seems like a great guy, and Ginny feels guilty for thinking otherwise. But inside, she resents how hard he is on her and feels like she’s constantly falling short. Ginny wishes Brian would see all the things she does for their family, but no matter how hard she tries, it’s never enough.

She feels trapped. Divorce feels wrong to her as a Christian, and she doesn’t want to tear apart her family. But at the same time, she fantasizes about what life could be like without Brian. Deep down, she fears that she’ll never find the love she’s been yearning for since she was a little girl. Some days, she even wishes Brian would just disappear so she could move on without being the “bad guy.”

Ginny is conflicted, unhappy, and stuck between her desires for something more and the values that keep her from leaving. She feels like time is running out, and if she’s ever going to experience the love she’s always dreamed of, she needs to act soon. But where would she go? Who would want her? The questions keep her paralyzed, stuck in a life she never wanted for herself.

If Ginny’s story resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. There is a path forward, even in the most complicated situations. Whether you’re struggling with feelings of inadequacy, conflict in your marriage, or the weight of unmet desires, there is hope for healing and growth.

How I Work With Women

I believe that my greatest strengths come from my personal experiences, which is why I primarily work with men. But that doesn’t mean I can’t provide valuable guidance to women who are navigating their own challenges. In fact, many of the women who reach out to me are struggling with similar pain points—feeling disconnected in their marriages, unappreciated, or unsure how to move forward.

My approach is rooted in helping people discover their own strength, identity, and capacity for growth. If you’re interested in exploring how I can support you, I invite you to schedule a free discovery session and see if my approach aligns with your needs.