Hey brother, I appreciated your recent question and comments about feeling anxious in life and marriage. You mentioned being anxious and fearful all the time but unable to capture any of it. I relate! Especially when you described those anxious thoughts as "ping-pong...
This video and article were created in response to a being asked, "how do I truly let go of a woman?" by a member of our Mentoring Men community. Bobby, Your question plucked a heart chord with me - one that needs to be plucked now and then because it reminds me of...
Then one day, often just after a “more trail marathon,” like a vacation, home renovation, or big holiday, our wives say some dreadful words.
“I love you, but I’m not in love with you.”
“I think I want a divorce.”
“Yes… I *am* having an affair.”
“I can’t give you what you want.”
“I need to find myself.”
Many of these men are in sexless or sexless or sex-starved relationships. They feel a deep lack of far more than sex but of deep, connected emotionally-satisfying intimacy. In fact, that’s usually their chief frustration and complaint.
We help men become the heroes they’ve always longed to be, surrounded by the kind of men they’d long since lost hope could guide them there.
For about twenty years, I couldn’t figure out why I felt alone in crowds, unvalued, unappreciated, unseen, unhappy, and ultimately, unloved. This wasn’t what I signed up for! I constantly wondered, “what the hell happened here?”
I thought my absence of male friends was because other men were all shallow. I felt that good men who could talk about something other than sports, booze, and hobbies were proverbial unicorns in the world. As a result, I struggled to develop close bonds with other men.
I’ve sat with many men lamenting their fathers’ lack of instruction and their shame for not knowing how to do some things. I understand that frustration, not getting a lot of teaching I would have preferred also. However, the instructions my dad couldn’t give me…
For almost twenty years, I lived as a serf, disappointed that my needs never seemed met and exhausted from the constant asking and angling for more respect, appreciation, validation, love, sex, passion, connection, and free time to myself. “This isn’t fair! This isn’t what partnership was supposed to be about!”
Many men embrace conditional regard thinking it’s how they can create and enforce good personal boundaries. In fact, the opposite is true. Men with conditional regard for others require things from others that they can’t control.